Real stories from real papers. We read them so you don't have to, then tell you what we think. Tap through for the proper version.
Unbeaten in Europe right up until Dinamo Zagreb turned up at the Stadium of Light and were 2-0 up before half-time. Stojkovic scored one and set up the other. Well, that's another lovely evening for the Mackems. Passports out, heads down.
The actual story: The Guardian · 5 Nov
Sunderland got comfortably beaten 2-0 by Dinamo Zagreb in the Europa League and the pressure on Le Bris has gone up again. A torrid run of form, Sky call it. We call it Thursday. They wanted European nights. Be careful what you wish for, lads.
The actual story: Sky Sports · 5 Nov
Jaissle says he feels the club are committed to him, despite the struggling form. Nice to hear. Results would be nicer. A win would say it better than any statement, like.
The actual story: BBC Sport · 5 Nov
The BBC are asking whether getting into the Europa League will end up costing Sunderland their Premier League place. If anyone's going to pull that off, it's this lot. We'll keep a seat warm for them in the history books.
The actual story: BBC Sport · 4 Nov
Another home defeat, another round of jeers. The BBC reckon Jaissle has big problems at Newcastle and nobody in the Gallowgate is arguing. Could be worse. Could be bottom.
The actual story: BBC Sport · 2 Nov
Thirteenth, four defeats in five, and St James' has started turning. Doing what wor lot do best: making life difficult for wersels. Still above the Mackems, mind. Small mercies.
The actual story: BBC Sport · 2 Nov
Everton beat us with a second-half Thierno Barry goal, our second defeat in five days, and Jacob Ramsey got himself sent off for good measure. Shite, frankly. Somebody remind Jaissle the Mackems are still worse. It's the only good news going.
The actual story: The Guardian · 2 Nov
Sunderland are sticking with Le Bris despite sitting bottom of the Premier League. Brave. Or daft. Probably both. The vote of confidence. Football's most reliable kiss of death.
The actual story: BBC Sport · 2 Nov
When the BBC are calling your defeat appalling and making a video asking what's gone wrong, you know it's bad. They're usually polite. Where do you even start, man.
The actual story: BBC Sport · 31 Oct
Coventry climbed out of the relegation zone by beating Sunderland, which tells you everything. Sakamoto and Awoniyi both scored their first league goals for the club. Generous lot, the Mackems. Always happy to help someone off the mark. Rooted to the bottom. Get comfy.
The actual story: The Guardian · 31 Oct
Shearer sits down to talk about his love for Newcastle, how close he came to carrying on in management, and swapping the pitch for the commentary box. Worth your time, which is more than you can say for the football lately. Watch it, then watch his goals again.
The actual story: BBC Sport · 31 Oct
